Talk about a criminal name. We’ve heard of Billy the Kid. We’ve heard of The Sundance Kid. But Mystery Dildo Bandit? That tops them all. That right there is the greatest moniker/pseudonym/rap name/whatever the hell you want to call it of all time.

Canadian adult entertainment outlet Our Pleasure alleged on Facebook on that a man stole items from its store on Topsail Road in St. John’s, Newfoundland.

In the video they published to Facebook, an unidentified man deemed the ‘mystery dildo bandit’ man grabs two items from the store’s wall display and sneaks them into his jacket.

The search did not last long, as the suspect was identified just one day later.I’m not entirely sure what the street value of a dildo is, but I have to imagine there are more lucrative options out there. If you’re going to get in trouble for stealing something, it’s gotta be more valuable than a dildo.